i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I'm passing your future prison.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
