I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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