they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
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