there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Shitshow foam night was such a success
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
