He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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