You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
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