Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
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