she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Randomize
