she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
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