I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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