I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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