I am full of burrito and curiosity
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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