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• (703): View more from Virginia

  I'm in your bed right now

  (240): View more from Maryland

  Okay meet you there give me 10

  (703): View more from Virginia

  Don't think you can make me leave either

  (240): View more from Maryland

  Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you

  Fav 6 2396 938

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• (423): View more from Tennessee

  He played with my vagina like it was a turntable

  Fav 24 4455 1907

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• (904): View more from Florida

  i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall

  Fav 36 8722 1357

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• (763): View more from Minnesota

  Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.

  Fav 7 4796 1375

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• (208): View more from Idaho

  Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time

  Fav 4 7469 1565

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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Thats a chance were just gonna have to take

  Fav 9 1974 1116

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• (641): View more from Iowa

  What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.

  Fav 5 1398 1126

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• (443): View more from Maryland

  i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.

  Fav 3 1438 684

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• (505): View more from New Mexico

  Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.

  Fav 9 1175 695

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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Do u remember buying that

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo

  Fav 2 1237 749

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• (845): View more from New York

  He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done

  Fav 10 435 986

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• (651): View more from Minnesota

  Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock

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• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs

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• (310): View more from California

  Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.

  Fav 0 36 7

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• (727): View more from Florida

  Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.

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