Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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Sorry clawedbawls49 hasn't picked any favorites yet.

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(917): View more from New York City

well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'

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(718): View more from New York

walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)

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(516): View more from New York

i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.

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(303): View more from Colorado

Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.

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(713): View more from Texas

she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?

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(810): View more from Michigan

I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers

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(425): View more from Washington

YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.

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(765): View more from Indiana

I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.

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