I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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