I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
