just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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