There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
The cops high fived after they tackled you
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
