I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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