I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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