The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
