for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
