I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize