this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
