I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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