the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I'm bleeding and have questions
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
