He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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