She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
