the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
