I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
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