you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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