Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
