just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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