i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
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