Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
