I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Randomize
