hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize