She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
