WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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