She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
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