I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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