my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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