Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
