And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
