on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
