i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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