is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
