Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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