I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
