sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize
