New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
