I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
