do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
