I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I could fuck to npr.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
