O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
