Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
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