She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Randomize
