Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
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