her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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