I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
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