Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Randomize
