We won't sleep together?
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
