Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize