Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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