theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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