College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Houston, we have a blender
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
